Read Through....And be Amused

The Week: Issue 341 p. 2

"Most elderly drivers refuse to give up the wheel, despite the dangers of impaired vision and diminished reflexes. Not Muriel Gladwin, 94, of Hereford, England. Gladwin, who taught herself to drive when she was just 12, has decided to relinquish her keys and let others do the driving for her. What's most remarkable is that over the course of an estimated 600,000 miles, Gladwin hasn't gotten a single ticket or had even a minor accident. 'I always keep my eyes wide open and stick to the rules of the road like glue,' she said. ' I still have a completely clean record, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.'"


I wish I could say that. I had a minor wreak on Saturday. You really want to know about it? Ok, you asked....

Anna needed a new pair of shoes. Mom and Dad were headed to Amarillo that day anyway, but I was going to have to take Anna. I wasn't really thrilled about having to go, but I figured if I did have to we might as well make the best of it. So the loving parents tested the roads first and pronounced them safe for travel. Anna and I loaded up in the Sunfire about 10:15 (or so) and headed to the city. I stopped in Panhandle and filled my car with the outrageously priced gas, after which we toodled on to Amarillo.
Mom and Dad were right. The roads were clear. We got to Amarillo and cruised along the interstate--Destination: the mall. *which was not really that smart considering it was a Saturday, but we were going there anyway*

I got off on the Coulter exit and tested my breaks.
"It's icy here," I tell Anna as I feel my tires kinda spinning.
Green Dodge cuts in front of me.
I sigh and make note that the driver must be a jerk.
I change lanes to avoid his bumper...
"Fine," I think, I would need in the middle lane anyway.
I round corner and see stop light with people backed up.
I apply brakes.
I realize I am on a solid sheet of ice.
Brakes aren't really working.
I think, "I'm going to hit this lady ahead of me."
I go into left lane to miss her.
I clip her bumper.
Someone going a little too fast hits me.
My backend slides a little.
I think, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!?"
I shut off the music.
I get out of the car.
I keep composure and ask lady in red car if she is fine.
She informs me she must call in the scratch I gave her bumper because she works for the courthouse *I could not believe my good fortune as to have hit her--the lady from the courthouse*
I then hand her my insurance info and head to the other car.
They were fine too but wanted to know if I had a licence. "Oh yes," I say, while wondering if I
will have it for much longer.
Anna calls Dad on cell phone.
I get back in the car and fall apart.
Dad gets on phone and tells me to calm down.
I hiccup *or swallow a sob rather* and he hangs up, promising to be there soon.
People drive by and stare.
They too spin on the ice which I think is rather a comfort.
Dad and Mom arrive.
Police arrive.
I spend next hour filling out reports and insurance info.
I end up with $170 ticket and a car that was almost more beat up than the other two.
I was not going fast enough for there to be much damage--but I blanched when the ticket read,
"too fast for conditions."
The wreak was right outside Golden Corral so we all go inside.
Mom and Dad eat.
I can't eat and Anna's not hungry.
We load up and go the mall.
Anna got her pair of shoes.

I tell her that those are the most expensive pair of shoes ever.

We thank God that all are fine and that it's not going to cost me an absolute ton of money.

The moral of this tale: Only on a matter of life or death should you attempt a drive the day after an ice storm.

THE END